How To Even…Survive a Bear Encounter

By CL Bledsoe & Michael Gushue

Most folks are aware that they may encounter a bear when camping or hiking through deep woods, but thanks to human encroachment, bear populations now overlap human populations in many places. It’s not unusual to see a bear trying to get into a Dumpster, walking down the street, or waiting in line at the cinema to pre-order Star Wars tickets.

And how should you react? Should you run away? Should you puff yourself up to look intimidating? Should you compliment them on their retro 80s TV show tee shirt? It can be confusing. There’s a lot of misinformation out there about bears. The last thing you want is an angry bear eating you or complaining to a manager. With that in mind, we’ve put together this guide to help you deal with the inevitable bear encounters. Just follow these simple steps, and you’ll be out of danger…and maybe you’ll make a new friend.

1. If you are at a party and a bear arrives, do not panic. Panic is like turtle cheesecake to bears; they pretend not to want any but will grudgingly take a bite if you insist, and then they’ll eat the whole piece. And the plate. And your hand. Instead, you must establish the bear’s intentions. Do not assume that the bear is there to attack you. It may be a guest at the same party you’re attending. Did it bring wine or a gift?