How To Even…Make Up After a Fight

By Michael Gushue & CL Bledsoe

People argue, even when they love each other. A lot more when they don’t. That’s what we’ve heard. Often, these arguments are over dumb things that he should just admit he’s wrong about, because sometimes, the feelings of the person you claim to love are more important than being right. Especially when he’s so, so wrong. My god, is he wrong.

Fights follow a predictable pattern, like government corruption or having to pee right after you’ve been zipped into your head-to-toe latex bondage suit (which, actually, might be part of the process). In fact, every fight with your significant other exactly mirrors the 44 rungs in Kahn’s Escalation Ladder, which traces modern warfare from peace through tension, from limited attacks all the way up to all out thermonuclear annihilation (Spasm or Insensate War). We can’t take you through all forty-four rungs because it’s getting close to Happy Hour, but let’s touch on the major steps so that we can better understand the best path to resolution, or utter destruction.

Rung 1: Ostensible Crisis

Fights don’t begin with the fight. They begin with something else, maybe a series of things. Maybe you had a bad day or a bad interaction with someone. Maybe he’s an idiot and has been pulling crap like this for weeks. Negative feelings can build up for…