How To Even…Get Rid of Noisy Neighbors (without going to jail)

By Michael Gushue & CL Bledsoe

Some dead person said no man is an island, which just goes to show they never saw either of us in a pool. Another way of looking at it is that no matter where you go, there are people, being all people-y, peopling it up. The one refuge is home, where you can wallow in your own misery in peace. But then some neighbor screws it up by making a bunch of noise or screaming into the void during your scheduled void screaming time. The nerve.

But they pay rent or mortgage or whatever just like you, so you’re stuck with them. Unless you sell your house. Heh. Heh heh. Ha hah ha. Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha. *chuckle* Sorry, yeah, good luck with that.

But don’t despair. Maybe you won’t be stuck with them much longer, if you can come up with a way to get rid of them.

Plant the Hope Diamond in Their Car or Home

First off, we’re not trying to stifle anyone’s shine. The “hope diamond” is a MacGuffin; you can plant any valuable art, gold or jewels, or priceless artifacts in their home. Maybe a beloved celebrity or a rich man’s pet. As long as it’s stolen…