How To Even…Probably Not Find Love Through Online Dating

By Michael Gushue & CL Bledsoe

It’s hard to meet new people. This would be true even if the world was not being overrun with clones. We’re all busy as heckers, and the truth is, all the people we know already know us, so they probably don’t want to date us. But we’re lonely, and our biological clocks keep threatening to kick our asses if we don’t get our act together. We could try some new activities in the hopes of meeting like-minded people, but that would involve doing stuff and meeting people. The truth is, we want to meet people without having to, you know, meet them. Or go outside. Or talk. Or leave the couch.

It’s a conundrum. But the fact remains that even the dog is starting to find us needy. There’s this image of what life is supposed to look like, and ours doesn’t look anything like it. Mostly, it involves there being someone else involved. And maybe less cheese dip splatter on the walls. Who could bring anyone into this shot show of a life and then look them in the face? But that way lies madness. Here’s the thing: the loneliness is the loudest voice in the room, we can’t help but listen to it. And hope it says nice things about our hair.

Along comes online dating with the potential solution to our problems. From the comfort of our bathrooms, we can interact with people and maybe even…