How To Even…Capitalize On Your Blog’s Middling Success

By Michael Gushue & CL Bledsoe

Greetings, loyal reader. Since we started this blog, in the mists of prehistory a year ago, we’ve gotten literally tens of views, claps, and followers (some of them weren’t from our avatars!). It’s been a real treat to respond to the praise, accusations, death threats, and begging-us-to-stop-for-the-love-of-God, and to make new friends who don’t know what weirdos we really are. We’re grateful for the support, but we’re thinking it’s time to kick things up a notch.

As we’ve learned by talking with people on the bus, as well as the voices that come out of our fillings, if you want to make a splash with a parody self-help blog, you’ve got to focus on the spectacle, the razzleberries. Go big or go sit by someone else, please, sir. As the old saying goes, if you can sell the sizzle, you don’t even need the steak. Or maybe it’s why milk the cow, when you can sizzle for free. We’re not that good with old sayings.

Unfortunately, Medium’s terms of service forbid us, by name, from live streaming ourselves dancing in a cage, which we find to be a hurtful policy, frankly, though we do respect its honesty. This means that we have to find something else to do with these feather boas. So, here are a few other ideas we have in mind to something something brand something market share…