How to Even…Be Too Cool for School

A How To Even Quiz to Determine Your Coolness

By CL Bledsoe & Michael Gushue

Today we present the last in our 3-week cash-in on The Back To School season with a quiz to make sure you’ve all been paying attention.

1. How do cool people stand?

a. Feet even with shoulders to imply confidence or possibly constipation.

b. Hopping from one foot to the next to imply your true bunny-like nature. Bunnies are the coolest.

c. Slightly bent over to show the weight of all your responsibilities. Responsibilities are cool.

d. You shouldn’t. You should sit. Or possibly lie down until the nausea passes.

e. Casually leaning against a wall because you don’t give a frick.

2. How do cool people talk?

a. Enunciate clearly so others can understand you.

b. Only when spoken to, and then, respectfully.

c. Loudly so those in the back can hear.

d. You shouldn’t. Talking is for squares. Never speak or make eye contact.