How To Even…Be a Food Blogger

How To Even…
6 min readJan 14, 2021

You get home from work (i.e., you close your laptop and move from the right side of your couch — the work site — to the left side of the couch — “home”) and start thinking about suppertime. There are four foodstuffs in your fridge — espresso-flavored yogurt, a jar of pickled jalapenos, beer, a little container of non-dairy creamer, and beer. Except for the beer, everything is past its so-called expiration date. In your cupboard is a can of nacho sauce, a can of beans, a single English muffin, and a plate that once had food on it but now has a dried kevlar coating of many colors. All these things are also past their expiration date.

Quiz: What do you make for dinner?

Answer: You make a call to 100% Full Yum Chinese American Take Out for a cheeseburger sub.

But let’s say Full Yum is closed because pandemic. Now you have to make something with the meager stores of your neglected kitchen. You open your home laptop, google in every culinary “ingredient” you have, and type “dinner??”

Surprisingly, you get 6.5 X 1⁰⁸ results.

The reason is food blogs. Anyone can be a food blogger. All you do is bloggisize about food. But. Why would anyone blog about foods? More importantly, why would you blogs about food? There are many reasons. A few of them are shekels, moola, lettuce, benjamins, zlotys, and the cash money. Also, a chance to share with the world your creativity and love of not starving to death.

But. As noted above, there are 6.5 X 10⁸ food bloggerers ahead of you. So, you have some catching up to do.

Before we dive into the internet and turn on the keypad, there a couple of considerations.

Where To Eat?

If you’re anything like us, the people at the Popeye’s and Wendy’s drive-thrus recognize you by smell and would really appreciate it if you’d stop offering them rides home. Oh yeah, it’s personal. Best to go ahead and rip that band-aid off, right now.

The thing is, even though you may like the food at a fast food place, they don’t really care about press. They’re more into volume. No one expects their meal at McDonald’s to actually taste *that* good. They expect it to be quick and palatable. If they can keep it in their bodies long enough to get home…